Thanks Rome, Payment sent.

Yeah, no one said eating healthy was pretty. They are great though.

First, you need to change the way you eat.  A lot of fat, disgusting, obese Americans eat for sport. Dieting is always going to fail if you are hungry.  Hunger makes people irrational so even if you have great willpower when full, you will always fuck up your diet while you are hungry.  The hunger says "feed me, you only live once, etc etc." So eat to relieve hunger, when you are no longer hungry, stop.  The best way is to eat several small meals a day, instead of three. I eat about ten times a day.

Second, what do you eat? This is the hardest part because if you are used to rich fatty foods this can become a shell shock.  The bad news is that eating healthy is more expensive. I saw one of your pics and you were wearing a hard hat.  People in hard hats usually make at least 5 dollars more an hour then those that mop floors so maybe this is not an issue for you.  The good news is that you are eating less so your fat ass is no longer consuming as much, so you can buy the more expensive foods.  The good news is that once you get used to eating healthy things that taste good you no longer craze fatty disgusting foods.  This is good for people with addictive personalities ( those that get the fucking "insane title" ) because eating healthy now becomes a hobby.  Ok, so what do you eat?  If you like cooking allrecipes.com has some really good healthy recipes, but like, you are  a guy, ok so all I can share is what I eat...

Lite Silk Soy Vanilla milk. The shit is tasty as fuck.  It is like a vanilla milkshake, but not thick.  Kaishi makes a cereal called "Golean Crunch"  As a new bodybuilder you will generally want to consume about 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight so a breakfast high in protein is great.  The other Goleans are really bland. I cut up fruit, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, etc.  I cycle in the bland goleans so that crunch doesn't lose its "zaaz".  

A protein powder.  Don't get the cheap jew stuff, get something in a small bottle and make sure you like the flavor first, mix it with a blender with fruit.  Again, this is how you get your protein.  You need to feed those muscles protein so they can regenerate.  Muscle's build by scarring.  You need to repair them.  It is also a meal replacement.  Note: protein bars are shit, total shit, some of those fucking bars have 400 or more calories.  

Granola bars.  Kaishi is the cheapest brand that have protein and are not terrible for you.  They are bland compared to Quaker but that is because those are like repackaged candy bars.  You will need granola bars to get you through the day because you will fail a diet if you are hungry.  Keep them handy so you can eat a half or a whole bar if eating a small meal is inconvenient.(like work)  You will get hungry way more often since you are eating less at meals.

Fuck bread. Sorry but bread is shit.  A lot of companies are making "flat rolls". They are your new God.  They are like 100 calories and make good sandwiches.  Seriously.

Soy meat.  Most soy meat products are fucking terrible. Like, I have bought them all once...Morningstar makes the best ones.  Even so, a few of them are total shit.  The grillers prime, the gardenburger, and the spicy bean blackburger are always in my house.  For 120 calories then are really good.  

Vegetables. Someone had to say it.  Put them on all your sandwiches as filler.  Get the ones you like. Spices.  Spicy is good. Jalepenos, red pepper flakes help many bland dishes good.  

Lean Cuisines. They are tasty, they have variety, they are quick. They have low calories and decent protein. Man cannot live on lean cuisines alone because those niggers add 10 pounds of sodium in each one.  They are good, but its fucking annoying how much sodium are in prepackaged meals.

I am going off on a tangent so I am just going to spit everything else in one small category because I still have way more to talk about in the weight lifting department.  Other things I eat: A handful of almonds a day, subway is good fast food, hummus, tuna without mayo (good mustards are awesome), lean chicken cooked a million different ways.

Also, eat right away when you wake up.  The reason you don't wake up screaming hungry from sleep is that your body slows down your metabolism.  Spark that metabolism into high gear right away.  Also, don't starve yourself. When you are hungry the body is afraid it will starve so it slows down the metabolism again.

The best part about being an elitist with your food is watching all the sorry, sad, fat Americans hustle to Wendy's to speed up the number one cause of death, heart disease. You can mock them with your superior eating habits as they chose a McDouble without a thought regarding the calorie count.  Your poor eyes have to envelop their nauseating obesity.  Just like the disclosure of AIDS right before a one night stand, a fatso plopped down right in front of your pretty scenery is a day ruining event.

Ok, lifting stuff. I have been working out the past 12 years to stay fit and to keep toned.  If you have dreams of becoming the next Arnold, then this is not for you.

First, going to the gym.  It helps, but you don't neeeed it.  You can decently tone without one.  If you have access to it, awesome.  I go to the gym and supplement it with many home exercises.  

How to work out:  Starting, only work out one muscle in one day.  You will be sore as fuck so if you do a whole body workout the correct way you will be calling out of work the next day.  I once had a friend ask me for advice and I specifically had him work out every muscle really hard.  We are no longer friends.  Seriously.

Muscle groups, Abs(side abs as well), legs ( if you run correctly these will develop on their own, you can also work them out by themselves), biceps, triceps, traps, lats, pecs, shoulders, forearms ( most bicep workouts will take care of your forearms so don't worry about them until much later)

The thing with building muscle is challenging your muscles.  After your body gets used to a workout you need to change it up.  If you no longer get sore after a workout you are doing it wrong.  There are lots of controller muscles that develop with a specific exercise.  You will stop getting results if you do the same thing every day forever.

Ok, home exercises. If you can use a fucking gym, use the machines, they are usually idiot coded so I won't go into what works because like I said, you want to change it up.  However, toning is high reps, 4-5 sets, 10-15 reps. Highest weight you can do for x number of reps.  Remember, you want to take it easy until your out of shape shitbox body gets used to the idea of working out.  Take it easy to start.

Pushups.  These are good to start on your chest, back, shoulders, and triceps.  You can move your hands farther apart or closer together to target different muscles with different intensity.  

Sit-ups, crunches, and side situps. Make sure to hit those side abs. I didn't hit the side ones for years and I looked retarded.

Pull-ups. Find something you can use as a pull up bar.  I used to have a playground next to my house. The best part about a pull up is that you can position your arms in different positions and you can change a few muscles targeted. ( you will always challenge your back with a pull up)

biceps. You will need props. Fill up gallons of water and hold one or two and curl them.  You can also do shoulder raises and "butterflys" with them.  Look up what a butterfly is because I don't feel like explaining it.

Running.  I like running 1.5 miles as fast as I can.  Any longer and I get bored.  I do it every other day.  It works out your legs if you run correctly.  

With your original question "how many should I do and how long should I rest" There is not solid answer. You need to "read" your body.  If you get sore, you are doing work, if not, you need to change it up. Don't workout a body part if it is sore, it is still repairing. You don't want to fuck it up.

I am tired of typing so this is done.

how much did you faggots make?

bump

bump, sunday at noon.

I need to get Kobe a Solace. so...

I am looking for money hungry raiders or alts, or whatever for a 25 man Toc. 

So, solace drops, you roll on it. If you win it and give it to Kobe, you get 10k from me.