I will now be collecting $600 please set up a pay pall account in my name, it is very important and I will explain after i get the $600. P.s. feed my fish while I am gone, P.P.S. buy fish first
Author: Uhuru March 08, 2010, 11:32:00 AM Views: 15 Rating: 0 (0 rates)
Casual goes to war with China... and wins.
One of the greatest things about Casual is our complete and utter disorganization. There are four different officer ranks, two F&F ranks (none of which are appropriately named or labeled), a GM that doesn't play more than once a week, and best of all; we leave members of the guild at higher ranks than the current officers. This is all well and good, until one of the officers has his account hacked, ninjas our entire guild bank, and boots everyone out of the guild. Casual, my friends, has been raped by China.
We all thought it fairly strange when Gadz logged on unannounced for the first time in months (apparently he is dating some 45 year old cougar that stole his soul). Our instincts were spot on, as moments later the entirety of our guild bank (minus the gold) was in his bags.
We were at least smart enough to make sure officers couldn't withdraw absolutely EVERYTHING from the bank, but that didn't stop him from repeatedly inviting alts and attempting to promote them.
After a ~10 minute ginvite/gkick war between him and the officers, he finally wised up. Apparently he's one of them "learning" Asians. It's like a mix between Predator and those weird robots in The Incredibles, except with the cast of Gran Torino, sans Clint Eastwood.
Now, I myself am not a racist, but I'll be damned if some chink is gonna make off with all our shit without hearing a few angry racial slurs. The whole event spun out of control rather fast, and by the end I'm pretty sure we had all said our fair share of angry, ignorant things. It would have made for a great movie.
After about an hour of verbally abusing the attacker, he decided that Casual was to be no more.
Casual has never been a group to give up without a fight, though. We're like the stubborn old guy in the park who keeps ranting about how he invented spaghetti. After some brainstorming on vent (and a lot more racial slurs), we finally decided to use pure brute force. Through a series of elaborate macros and extremely fast Asian-like clicking, Vindra was able to invite and promote dozens of alts all at once, each of which withdrew the daily maximum of 10,000g from the bank. I'm sure that gook son-of-a-bitch cried as he watched his potential half-million gold melt before his eyes. In the end, we (particularly Monmoth) showed no mercy.
The demise of Casual left a sour taste in all of our mouths, but we didn't mourn long. Moments later, a new star was born- Pokemon Allstars.
(Right click; view image for BIG)
Trolling trade was fun for a while, but eventually we grew restless without the comfort of our green text, and decided it was time to find a new home. Plenty of people jumped at the chance to have ex-members of Casual in their guild, but Pontifex found a diamond in the rough. Our new home in Pokemon Allstars will be cherished. With rank titles like 'Pokémon Breeder,' 'Gary Oak,' and 'Ash Ketchum' what could possibly go wrong? Not to mention all the free Mudkipz.
We also have to throw out a huge thank you to the ultimate bro; the GM of our new home, Firstprayer, who lovingly embraced us all. He is our valiant leader, and our newest creamed cracker. He also caught on to the ways of the Casual attitude pretty fast.
We're not sure what the road ahead of us has in store. Maybe we'll go back to Casual when our guild is restored. Maybe we'll continue being Pokémon Masters (I've always wanted to raid Misty). All I know for sure is we're still fucking pro, and being hacked in the middle of our raid night did not stop us from dropping Festergut Hardmode and moving up to 7/12 Heroic. I'm sure our new GM is proud. More hard modes soon, but until then, Pokemon Allstars, out.
These new kids suck at updates.
Author: Uhuru March 04, 2010, 01:28:00 AM Views: 22 Rating: 0 (0 rates)
Deathbringer Saurfang & Blood-Queen Lana'thel down
A few hours of attempts and some outside-the-box strategy formation and presto; 6/12 heroic.
You know who you are, so let's start from the beginning, first of all, your UI probably looks something like this:
INTERFACE:
You've got your standard triple sized Recount, 4 different boss mods (but none of them are the right one), x-perl (complete with double size player debuffs) and some shitty raid frames. You use the default action bars, and you probably have some other shit to tell you the weather, paranoid american terrorist alert levels, and maybe some other games in your game so you can game while you game. Also you probably have all the default settings for your addons because 90% of their uses confuse you, god forbid you do something in the way of making it cosmetically appealing, the least you could do is differ from your standard bright red recount header. Target of your focus (if you even know how to set a focus) is probably non-existant and any form of debuff tracking on yourself is left entirely to a buff frame next to your map. I USE POWER AURAS SO FUCKING BIG AND BRIGHT THAT I CANT EVEN SEEN WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND ME. IF I COULD I'D MAKE POWER AURAS THAT TRACK MY ERECTIONS, MY HUNGER, AND MY VITALS FUCK YOU
CONSUMABLES: You'll eat the fucking fish feasts instead of your BiS food because you can't shovel out 3g per attempt (apologies to those who's BiS food is actually the feast), and you'll whine and complain if you don't see one. You flask your flasks if beepz happens to remind you, and you'll have maybe 14 potions to last you the night Recount vs. Boss Kills DPS is the most important thing in your life, if WoW had suicide pills you'd cast lava burst and eat one so you'd top the charts every fight. You'll take the minimum steps out of melee on empowered shock vortex, tunnel your bars and ignore all boss mechanics, repeatedly. Infact, given a choice between #1 on recount on a wiped boss attempt and sex, you'd probably chose recount you mouthbreathing faggot.
Learning new bosses:
You're probably pretty tired, high, listening to death metal or your favourite nigger so loud that understanding the ventrilo is like trying to order a hamburger from the east indian guy working at the local Burger King, but after all, you're just a "insert role here" so you probably don't have to start listening until after a few wipes, let everyone else get used to it first. I've run out of reasons why I hate you all so get fucked you cock juggling thunder cunts. I'm usually a culprit of one or more of these from time to time, but I just want you all to know that I hate you more than you can imagine and I look forward to continuing to hate you in the future.
It took a little bit longer than usual to kill Arthas, but it is certainly not from a lack of effort. We decided to go the extra mile with Icecrown Citadel. Now Casual is proud of the fact that we have never exploited a boss, but that doesn't stop us from thinking outside the box. For the first time we set out to get some spiritual help to guide us to high dps. We built a time machine and decided to travel back and actually save Jesus Christ. We figured that after saving the son of God that he would help us out a bit. Here at Casual we accept players from all over the world, even the French. Improved, always a bro, volunteered to save Jesus. However, I am a little rusty on my French and somehow we totally blew the translation. After rectally defiling Mr. Christ our raid seemed to be doomed for sure.
We tried other technologies to save the raid, however, it seemed some good old fashioned raid leading is all it took to get the king of all the liches down.
Distractions. Our biggest recent downfall has been the induction of a new member. The problem with a hardcore raiding guild is that our vaginal interactions can be put on the back burner. Throwing a good raider with a pretty face into the mix can cause a stir with this plethora of festering testosterone. Schnappi is just that. She is our creamed cracker. Between her beautiful eyes, chimera shot rotations, and her slaughtered family fluids neatly packaged and shoved in her vagina, she begs the question "what else could a guy want?" Luckily, our only other raiding female doesn't post her picture, so we all assume that she is horribly disfigured.
HAHAHAHAHA WELCOME TO THE HELL VACATED BY DIGO AND MYSELF
Our long-standing GM, Aquasheepa, has recently come to the conclusion that he enjoys hanging out with his squeeze more than all of us. He has since decided it would be best to give up his throne and hand the title of guild master to someone else. I think Digo ended up with GM, but I don't fucking know, You know how that stuff works, a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous to the whole thing.
But what I do know is that Aqua understands how to go out with a bang
Since becoming our raid leader Asmo has been enjoying the lavish lifestyle that all raid leaders have; when he's not leading us to victory you can usually find him wearing silly hats
or missing out on Tribute to Insanity.
One might ask themselves how we manage to raid effectively while missing one of our space bears. The answer was discovered by our resident experts on everything, Goldspam and Uhuru. After years of research, they discovered that if our hoods are up and our bears are out, we gain the properties that having a space bear would bring us, minus actually needing one.
However, since Asmo is our raid leader as well as a space bear, we still needed to find a good backup.
What about me though? I mean shit, I'm supposed to be e-famous now. What's it like? What does this mean for my future?
Most of those questions were answered by Uhuru, in his now infamous cameo appearance on my Putricide video
Some people might think we are racist, but that can't be further from the truth. We here at Casual gladly accept all ethnicities and demographics, except Eskimos who can go fuck themselves.
Anyways, for my future, I plan to use any money I earn to help me do one better than Serennia, Casual's ex-cuntbag e-famous homeless iPod stealing Death Knight tank. I plan to hitchhike to the houses of every raider in Casual, steal their iPods, and use the money I make from being famous to buy Hershey bars that I can then use to barter with people to stay at their houses
As odd as it may seem, we are kind of a big deal. In fact, we are a bigger deal than both Premonition and Ensidia combined
We are such a big deal that we even have fans!
When using the new LFG system we are constantly grouped with people who feel honored to be in our presence
I'm not exactly sure why we became such a big deal, but it's probably the titties.
HI WE'RE CASUAL AND IT TAKES US 3 MONTHS TO UPDATE OUR FUCKING FRONT PAGE
Author: Uhuru January 12, 2010, 12:31:00 PM Views: 114 Rating: 0 (0 rates)
The last few days can be accurately described by the word ‘finally’. We had gotten so ridiculously close on getting our Tribute to Insanity (10) and our first Anub (25) kill and at last finally got both. We lost 10 man insanity a couple of weeks ago due to a single wipe on Jaraxxus of all fucking things (sometimes there is fire, do not stand in it, especially if you are a tank). For those not familiar with the difficulty of ToGC bosses; If the heroic encounters were the Spice Girls (apologies from Britain for them), Jaraxxus would be the sporty one that nobody wanted to shag but was clearly very easy.
As far as Anub, not only did we have our obligatory 1% wipe but that same wipe was caused by a ret paladin putting a Hand of Protection on the main tank. Since doing this, our resident retadin Tweader has taken a long hard look at his own life choices.
Here at Casual we demand 100% from our raiders no matter the circumstance.
Also, being the only DK in the guild, Menelaz might be getting a slight sense of entitlement.
Being a Casual raider isn’t easy, sometimes there will be nights where wiping will happen and spirits will get dampened. So while it’s the raiders who get all the glory when we are victorious, we mustn’t forget to thank the people behind the raiders who help keep morale high on those low nights. (No, this is not a new feral army, that plan comes later).
This week we were denied Insanity solely by a 10% wipe on the twins, so stay tuned for our Tribute to Insanity update coming soon.
While I think the inner schoolboy in all of us will miss being able to say someone died by taking balls to the face, we were ready to move on.
Now recently we've had a lot of people who have inquired into applying to Casual. After visiting our site, some of these individuals are uncertain after visiting our front page whether a ginger Hitler and a passed out gentleman means that we are raiding and killing competitive content. So to appease these people who might also be confused by the ebony and ivory Olsen twins above, here is a picture of us all crowded around dead twins.
Incase you were wondering how we managed to kill them, we have exceptional raiders with outside the box techniques.
With much anticpation this week, we all headed over to Onyxia's Lair hoping for an interesting challenge from a boss many of us remember wiping to back in vanilla WoW. Sadly, she was disappointingly easy but we did hit upon a spark of nostalgia when we wiped while doing loot due to people running the whole whelp cave to the raid.
In other news Casual has opened it's first Space Bear Academy. We welcome all new ursine members with an interest in traveling to the outer reaches of the universe.
Don't be alarmed if you don't have a fucking clue, it just means you're probably not Space Bear material.
Early pulls of Anub look promising so we should get back to having all raid content on farm soon. Then we can get back to waiting for Blizzard to get their arse in gear and bring us Icecrown!
